So today I stumbled upon this little gem…
And I can’t help wondering can this really happen? Is this truly possible? Doesn’t it seem wrong on so many levels? Maybe it’s a little early for your kid to crash your sex party…hmm? I thought that was supposed to be saved for when he or she is a teenager. (Everyone has had that nightmare. If you are a parent, there are these really neat state of the art things called, “locks”. Buy one and fucking use it.)
Maybe loud crazy sex screams aren’t what I want my kid to witness for her first moments on earth. It really doesn’t matter because I’m having a very planned C-section. And I have to say I’m relieved! I don’t have to try and have a birthing plan or make any weird choices like an orgasmic birth.
Oh! I’m sorry. I realize I could be stepping on some of your toes. Hey! If you want to have your baby at home in a kiddy pool rocking out to Metallica I guess go ahead. Not for me. I do like to try new things. I like to think I have an open mind about unconventional ideas. But for me, trying new things is having Indian food for dinner. And my unconventional thinking is that president Kennedy was white trash and not a high class hero.
Nipple twisting and trying to push a baby out…well those two things don’t exactly go together like pizza and beer. Delving further, my curiosity led me to an interesting YouTube video about orgasmic birth. It DOES NOT show anything crazy so don’t get too excited! (I will include the link.) It was more informative. I guess 21% of women that have experienced childbirth claim they have had an orgasmic birth. That’s high! Which makes me think I probably know some of you! If you told me this happened to you I think my reaction would be, “really? But you seemed so normal. And I liked you! Great now we can’t be friends.”
Bottom line, if this was your experience and your baby safely came out then more power to you! Why should I care? It just seems so odd to mix the sexual experience with the child birthing experience. But what do I know? Bust out the whips and furry handcuffs! Don’t forget some super absorbent towels.