Coffee Buttercream Icing and a lazy Saturday.

Hello! It’s me…Haili! This is my Avatar!

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Has anyone else noticed the avatar people create for themselves doesn’t look quite accurate? Mine should at least be 50 more pounds! But, since my sister created it and I don’t see a pregnant avatar for a choice I’m not changing a thing! My avatar wears more black than Johnny Cash…which actually is just like me.

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I have a house full of chores I’m ignoring today. My roommates, (my daughter and husband), are nestled in for a long winter nap. So I’m blogging quietly on this winter solstice and trying not to crunch my Tums too loud!

Thumbing through Pinterest, (I’m super productive), I wish just once someone would pin something ugly. Or a craft that was a total flop. It would be refreshing to see a sewing project gone terribly wrong. For all those millions of perfectly iced cakes there has to be twice as many bad outcomes. This is what the truth looks like…

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It seems like every great cooking or craft idea I’ve had there are many more mediocre outcomes. Some are brilliant successes. But, the cake I made last night wasn’t impressive. There was a crater in the center where the cake had fallen. I filled it with frosting which seemed to exaggerate my mistake further. I still took a pic for you!

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On top of everything, I iced it too soon.
The cake was warm and the butter in the frosting melted. Boo!! 😦

On another note, my icing was and is outstanding! It’s a coffee buttercream icing and it is the product of many failed attempts. I had tried many coffee icing recipes before I came up with my own, including Paula Deen’s. All recipes left me with a gloppy weird mess. You just can’t add a bunch of coffee to the butter sugar mix. Fluid and fat aren’t friends…and they will only separate not blend perfectly together! So don’t go trying it thinking you are more amazing than I am! Lol
However, here’s my recipe…

Buttercream Coffee Frosting:
1 1/2 sticks butter softened (not melted!)
2 cups powdered sugar
2 tsp instant coffee
1tsp vanilla

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Not fancy ingredients, but you will have the most fantastic frosting.

-Blend your sugar and butter until it looks like frosting.
-In a cup, put tsp of vanilla, then dissolve the instant coffee in the vanilla.

Looks like a dark gooey syrup like this…

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Pour instant coffee syrup into the butter/sugar mix and blend again with your hand mixer.

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This is your wonderful frosting! Yum!
Enjoy your holiday cooking and your lazy Saturday!

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Ride that sleigh Jesus!

I’ve decided today I don’t love being pregnant. I mean if you can get past the long stranger stares at your rhino belly and the multiple pregnancy symptoms such as constant cleavage sweat, leaky bladder, weird veins, and lastly my favorite…super sore pubic bone, then I guess it’s not bad. I think if I dropped a hundred dollar bill I would gladly watch it float away just so I wouldn’t have to bend over one more time to pick it up. (If you’ve ever been large and pregnant you know what I’m talking about.) Some women are great at this “growing babies” business. I don’t prefer it.

On another note, feeling the baby move is the coolest! And I love the flatulence. Some women don’t like all the extra gas pregnancy can bring. But, I could win any toot contest! And if you don’t love to “rip it” ….well, you are just lying! It is inconvenient around other people. However, I don’t mind trailing it through Wal-Mart. (Yes, that’s me.)

This holiday I keep thinking about all the things I would do if I wasn’t preggo. Next year, I will ice skate under the influence of some serious spiked nog. I imagine the blades of my skates aflame because I’m so light and fast! After, I will attend a Christmas vigil blitzed. And I will wear tight fitting tartans!! Beautiful holiday tartans! But for now I will enjoy the flatulence and my skin tag farm. In true Mama June style, (Honey Boo Boo’s mom), I will celebrate my pregnancy tonight with a tall glass of dairy and a can of pintos.

I made this advent calendar. I’m super stoked about it so I’m sharing with you this small tutorial. It’s modeled after a pottery barn one I saw but is no longer available for purchase.

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You need:
Burlap 2yards
Burlap string
Wooden dowel 2ft
25 burlap drawstring bags
(Found in wedding section)
Iron on numbers (enough for 1-25)
All this is found at my favorite store,
Hobby Lobby.

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Iron on dates 1-25 on the bags.

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Measure your burlap next to the wooden dowel. You want to make a perfect square with the burlap. Cut two pieces. Lay print side to print side. Sew just like you are sewing a pillow case, but sew three sides together…leave one side open. Turn right side out.

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Iron. Fold unsewn side down and sew across making the place for the wooden dowel rod to slide through.

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Before placing rod, work string through the top with a large safety pin.

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Now slide rod through top. Take loose ends of burlap string and tie bow. This is where you will hang it to wall. Make it pretty. 🙂

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Place bags equally spaced. If you are a rockstar, pin the bags and sew on the burlap. If you are lazy and hate sewing burlap…hot glue bags to burlap. Make sure your gun is not a mini gun. You will be using lots of glue. Mini guns are too slow shooting out the amount of glue needed.

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Hang. Put toys in! Add sprigs of garland optional. Enjoy!!