Probed in Oklahoma City, Part Deux

Maybe if I lived in a more metro area things would be more accessible to me. For instance all the good groupons are in Dallas. They get deals on full sets of eyelashes and fancy frozen yogurts. OKC gets discounts for laser toenail fungus removal and tattooed eye makeup. I still need to find my basics around town…a new dentist, hair stylist, nail place, etc. And so my search in a new city for an obstetrician continues.

“Excuse me…Hi I’m here to check in for Dr…” I’m interrupted. “Ma’am! Fill this out ma’am.” She slides a little piece of paper just larger than a post-it across the counter. It says Name, Doctor, and reason for visit. Hmm. Well I was about to tell you this information with my WORDS but okay. I guess I will fill out this form instead. I fill out the tiny paper and slide it back. She examines it. “Are you a new patient?” she asked. I think to myself, “Oh so NOW you want to talk?” I kindly reply, “why yes I am…as circled on your little paper.” Only in the healthcare industry are people treated so rude. Greeting people and smiling are obsolete. I swear there is more customer service buying a sweater at the Gap! She hands me a Sears catalog of forms to complete.

I wait an hour.

Finally my name gets called, a version of my name anyway. I think she said, “Hally” but, whatever. (I mean have you ever met a Hally? This is not a usual name. Ok, I’m over it.) Ok…yeah, I’m Hally….sure. Let’s get this over with and meet the new OB who will potentially deliver my baby. I pray he’s not a weirdo. I strongly hope he’s in the prime of his practice and not a thousand years old. And I cross my fingers he can show signs of a competent practice.

She calls another patient back as she calls me. Oddly, we walk together. The other patient is seriously right behind me. I can’t make this shit up. Next, the nurse asks me to step on the scale right in front of the other patient! At this point I think, “Am I on a game show? This has to be a joke! Right?” I would be frantically pulling all removable items from my body at this point. Shoes, jewelry, and my purse all must go! This is the part when I usually spit in the trash a few times to lighten my load. (Hey! Every little bit counts.) But, I was so distracted by pregnant patient number two on my tail I leaped on the scale. Whew! Great, that’s over! Hope they won’t examine my cervix in front of patient number two as well!

I was given a room and waited for the doctor. Apprehensive and a bit sad, I yearned to see my super smart and vivacious OB’s face from my previous town pop his head through the door. Beside me I stared at the pathetic ultrasound equipment from the seventies encrusted with old ultrasound boogers. There was nothing. I waited.

A few more minutes went by and I see a friendly smile missing a tooth. She introduces herself as Betty. Very proudly she shared that she has been working with Dr. X for 23 years and she starts to doppler my pelvis. She moves my abdominal fat around searching for a fetal heart beat for a few minutes. Not impressed I longed to finish the appointment. Success! I hear a “swoosh swoosh swoosh” sound. Okay Betty, you’ve done your amazing feat for the day. Reward yourself with a new dental prosthesis.

Next the doctor finally comes. I liked the doctor. But, he kept referring to me as, “advanced maternal age” I guess because I’m pushing 35. I was like, Hey guy! I have a name. And it’s not “advanced maternal age” and it’s not fucking “Hally” either! Even so, I got the impression he’s done a few thousand C-sections which makes him a candidate for the job. He’s nice enough. He’s smart enough. Ding ding ding!! You’re my doctor. I don’t like you as much as my previous OB, but I’m ready and willing to settle.

Happy holidays everyone! I want to share this ridiculously good cheese ball recipe with you. You can be a big holiday fatty and do the full lard version. Or you can do reduced fat cream cheese and cheddar. I swear both versions are outstanding. Either way, my brother- in law will attest that this is bar none the best cheese ball of all time! God bless him! He made me feel like Martha Stewart!

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-Cream cheese x 1 bar
-Finely shredded cheddar x1 small bag
-3/4 cup chopped jalapeños
-Green onions x 1 bundle chopped
(about 7 stalks)
*mix these ingredients, form into ball.
*Roll in chopped pecans.
*Right before serving cover with hot pepper jelly.
Any sweet hot pepper jelly will be great. I like Razbanero hot pepper jelly. If you live in Tulsa it’s at your local Reasors. If you live in Oklahoma City you can’t find it anywhere! Sorry.

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You can serve with any cracker. Wheat thins are great, but my favs are Stacy’s pita chips. If you serve this you will be the belle of the ball! 😊

Ride that sleigh Jesus!

I’ve decided today I don’t love being pregnant. I mean if you can get past the long stranger stares at your rhino belly and the multiple pregnancy symptoms such as constant cleavage sweat, leaky bladder, weird veins, and lastly my favorite…super sore pubic bone, then I guess it’s not bad. I think if I dropped a hundred dollar bill I would gladly watch it float away just so I wouldn’t have to bend over one more time to pick it up. (If you’ve ever been large and pregnant you know what I’m talking about.) Some women are great at this “growing babies” business. I don’t prefer it.

On another note, feeling the baby move is the coolest! And I love the flatulence. Some women don’t like all the extra gas pregnancy can bring. But, I could win any toot contest! And if you don’t love to “rip it” ….well, you are just lying! It is inconvenient around other people. However, I don’t mind trailing it through Wal-Mart. (Yes, that’s me.)

This holiday I keep thinking about all the things I would do if I wasn’t preggo. Next year, I will ice skate under the influence of some serious spiked nog. I imagine the blades of my skates aflame because I’m so light and fast! After, I will attend a Christmas vigil blitzed. And I will wear tight fitting tartans!! Beautiful holiday tartans! But for now I will enjoy the flatulence and my skin tag farm. In true Mama June style, (Honey Boo Boo’s mom), I will celebrate my pregnancy tonight with a tall glass of dairy and a can of pintos.

I made this advent calendar. I’m super stoked about it so I’m sharing with you this small tutorial. It’s modeled after a pottery barn one I saw but is no longer available for purchase.

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You need:
Burlap 2yards
Burlap string
Wooden dowel 2ft
25 burlap drawstring bags
(Found in wedding section)
Iron on numbers (enough for 1-25)
All this is found at my favorite store,
Hobby Lobby.

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Iron on dates 1-25 on the bags.

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Measure your burlap next to the wooden dowel. You want to make a perfect square with the burlap. Cut two pieces. Lay print side to print side. Sew just like you are sewing a pillow case, but sew three sides together…leave one side open. Turn right side out.

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Iron. Fold unsewn side down and sew across making the place for the wooden dowel rod to slide through.

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Before placing rod, work string through the top with a large safety pin.

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Now slide rod through top. Take loose ends of burlap string and tie bow. This is where you will hang it to wall. Make it pretty. 🙂

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Place bags equally spaced. If you are a rockstar, pin the bags and sew on the burlap. If you are lazy and hate sewing burlap…hot glue bags to burlap. Make sure your gun is not a mini gun. You will be using lots of glue. Mini guns are too slow shooting out the amount of glue needed.

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Hang. Put toys in! Add sprigs of garland optional. Enjoy!!

The Snowball Effect

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If you’ve ever been tortured by your mom calling and sharing in detail everything she ate that day followed by what she’s purchased for the week at whole foods this blog entry will be similar.

This is not new information, but I’ve noticed a significant decrease in my cravings for sweets if I’m getting enough daily protein. Now, if your a vegetarian I can’t help you. If you’ve been living the vegan or vegetarian life for a while you already know what to eat to boost your protein. Plus, you are probably waify and small already or as I like to say, “size Asian.” You don’t need help. But, for the rest of us who seem to gain the most weight in the first and second trimester of pregnancy it may be useful to start noticing your protein consumption.

If I grab a bagel for breakfast instead of my usual over medium eggs I’m more likely in the afternoon to be hungrier and it’s probable I will make a poor lunch choice. If I make a low protein lunch choice I’m starving by dinner. And assuredly, I will then make a crappy dinner choice. In my mind, I’ve been referring to this as the “protein snow ball effect”. One bad low protein choice leads to another bad food choice. If I can break the cycle something resets my appetite and I feel more satisfied after eating more protein. For example: I ate the raisin bagel for breakfast so I want pizza for lunch. But, instead I chose the chicken breast and veggies. The cravings for sweets have subsided and I feel back to norm. Now I’m more likely to choose a healthy dinner opposed to insatiably scarfing 12 gingerbread cookies.

If you are a man or just a regular non-pregnant person reading this and you are asking yourself, “why is she making this protein thing such a big deal?” All I know is when I’m alone inside this body I have no problem controlling my hunger or saying no to sweets. However, when pregnant I find myself in the checkout at Hobby Lobby fighting cravings for old fashioned cherry candies with the power of a thousand hell horses! The body you knew is gone. In its place are unfamiliar cravings, symptoms and bodily changes.

Think about what you like to eat. Make a list of your fav high protein foods and start from there. If the cafe at work sucks, then pack a lunch. If you don’t have access or you are too busy for a lunch perhaps packing a protein shake is a solution for you. Also, remember in those weak moments a chick-fil-A peppermint shake is not going to nourish your body and feed your growing baby like a protein packed nutritious meal would.

On a snowy day hot soup is delish! I love this loaded baked potato soup idea from skinny taste. It replaces some of the potato with cauliflower. I suggest using Greek yogurt instead of sour cream to up the protein factor. 🙂

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http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/02/baked-potato-soup.html?m=1

Probed in Oklahoma City

I’m in a new city. So I find myself needing to switch my OB in the middle of this pregnancy. This has not been an easy task!! You are automatically flagged as a difficult patient. They say they want your old patient records from your previous doctor for the quality of your care but really it’s to make sure your not fucking crazy.

The first “new” OB/Gyn visit in OKC my husband and I went together. We had our 2 yr old in tow which was probably a bad idea! She’s a very busy little girl! But we didn’t arrange a sitter and the hubs wanted to meet the new doc so there we were.

For the sake of not putting you to sleep I felt totally palpated by my new healthcare provider by the time my 2 hour appointment was complete. Because I was a new patient to this office I was swabbed, poked, and looked at from every angle. I’m a nurse so I understand most of this may be necessary. However, I felt like…”hey lady, could you make sure my baby is ok instead of making my annual breast exam the main priority today?”

Exhausted with a screaming toddler my slow as molasses appointment was finally coming to a close. Discussing a possible c-section date with my new OB posed the question of when would she be available to slice on me. “Oh no!” She says, ” I’m on spring break with my kids that week and we are out of town!”

Oh goody! Did I really endure this long ass appointment with this doctor to find she can’t deliver my baby? And the cherry on top her partner in the group doesn’t practice OB anymore only GYN. So there is no one to cover her OB practice from her own office. What the hell did we just do here today?

Learning from this experience that will be my first question to the next OB with whom I will soon be scheduling my next appointment. “Will you be available for a C-section in March?” My rule of thumb is always get pissed about the situation first then try to learn from it! 🙂

Today instead of a recipe I’m posting this awesome blog entry on “looking good while pregnant.” It’s a super cute guide on how to dress for each growing stage of pregnancy. Hope you enjoy!!

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http://walkingwithdancers.blogspot.com/2012/03/looking-good-while-pregnant.html?m=0

What to eat when eating for two: Protein

Love this! So important. Very motivating for me to read. It’s easy to get in a boring routine with the same foods. Great info.

Baraka Birth

We are rarely counseled on diet and nutrition, whether pregnant or not. Partly this is a consequence of having very little face time with medical care providers–about 15 minutes on average according to one study–but also diet and nutrition counseling isn’t necessarily part of the care we receive from doctors or nurse practitioners. I’ve seen both medical doctors and alternative care providers, and what I didn’t learn from the doctors but did hear an earful about first from my herbalist, and then later from my own herbalism and midwifery studies, is that diet and nutrition are at the foundation of wellness (or as the old Hippocratic adage goes, “let food by thy medicine and medicine be thy food”).

This is so incredibly important for pregnant women, from the preconception period all the way through breastfeeding. Once pregnant, a healthy diet protects mother and baby from a variety of risks…

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Shoot me.

A man in the elevator today asked if I was getting a “Christmas present” referring to my huge baby belly. “Nope nope” I reluctantly replied, “This one is not due until March.” Sigh….
Yep. He thinks I’m due next month. I guess I’m just THAT big!! That is somewhat depressing. Or…a lot depressing. Oh well.
If I quoted what people said to me for the rest of this pregnancy….well let’s just say I’m afraid to lose all my readers. Lol!!
On to bigger things! (No pun intended.)
My new goal is to walk everyday. I’m working full time right now and I’m pretty tired lugging this HUGE body around. I figure the least I can do and a great place to start is by taking a walk everyday. Followed by half a dozen snickers ice cream bars. JK!!!
Here’s my recipe to get the “skinny” motivational juices flowing. Although I don’t do no carb/low carb I love this tasty idea from Julia Child’s kitchen. If you constantly crave pizza like I do here is a leaner alternative….eggplant pizza. My big fat pregnant mouth is already watering! And the best part…you are sneaking in those veggies!

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http://www.kalynskitchen.com/2012/08/recipe-for-julia-childs-eggplant-pizzas.html?m=1

To all the pregnant moms out there…don’t give up! Keep fighting the fight of a healthier pregnancy…one day at a time.

A great set up…

You can either set yourself up for success or set yourself up to fail. So yes, I did attack the banana pudding! But, I immediately reminded myself as long as it’s in my house I’m probably going to eat it. Or I will obsess about it until I do. Needless to say, I have now purged my kitchen of the foods that I crave the most. “Goodbye leftover holiday food…you are not worth it!” From now on protein shakes, fruit, veggies, and lean meats for me. And sweet potatoes!…I love sweet potatoes.
I will be posting some of my fav skinny recipes to help get me on track and pumped about eating healthy. This one is from one of my favorite blogs…”The girl who ate everything.”
Crockpot pork carnitas…genius.

http://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.comp/2011/05/easy-crockpot-pork-carnitas.html

Anything on a tortilla seems like the right thing to do!

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Potato Preggo

Is it possible a regular gal like me could end up in the best shape of my life by my due date? This is my journey. With my first pregnancy I wondered if it was possible for someone to make a fitness transformation during pregnancy. I looked for information, but found little. Now, I’m six months pregnant with my second baby and I find I’m in the same situation of overeating and lack of exercise as my first pregnancy. At work today my scrub pants actually felt tighter and I considered bumping up a size. Grrrr. I’ve decided to clean up my act and document my progress.
I’m doing this for several reasons. I want to prove to myself I can do it. At nine months with my first baby I had gained so much weight it was difficult to move. And when I was moving I was short of breath! After the fact, I decided I could have done things differently. And this time around I wanted so badly to focus on great nutrition for my baby and staying healthfully active. The start was strong, but my good intentions flopped somewhere around moving to a new city, finding a new job, chasing around a two year old, the holidays….etc. Or should I just blame it on pregnancy fatigue? Either way, one cookie has led to another and I find myself already 30 pounds plus at exactly 6 months through my pregnancy. Today is one day post Thanksgiving holiday and I’m hating myself for not doing better. This is not the “fit” pregnancy I wanted for myself this second time.
Another reason I’m willing to expose myself are for women, (like me), who have looked for something to reference and never found it. Some may think going from “flab to fab” during pregnancy is taboo. I say, “why not?” Is gaining so much weight during a pregnancy that you are short of breath really enjoying a pregnancy? I don’t think so. Maybe this will be a bit of inspiration to someone in the same boat. I must mention this is not a diet. I plan on the appropriate amount of nutrition, calories, and probably occasional chocolate indulgences. It’s important to be realistic! I’m doing it all with exercise and regular visits to my OB. Will I fail? Admittedly, I’m curious if I’m strong enough. What am I capable of achieving? Is it possible to get fit after already gaining weight during pregnancy? Let’s see what happens. Right now, all I can think of is the left over banana pudding in the fridge!

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